you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize