cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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