"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
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I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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