Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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