If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
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Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
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No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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