You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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