he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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