Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
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You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
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people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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