They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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