Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize