rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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