Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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