I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
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his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
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I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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