I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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