He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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