Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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