i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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