Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
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If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
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Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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