the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize