I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
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I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
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Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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