I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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