What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
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Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
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Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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