I like to think it a success when the cops are called
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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