Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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