Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize