You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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