My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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