Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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