did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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