Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize