C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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