I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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