So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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