Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
FUCK WHALES
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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