For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize