so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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