walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize