I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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