Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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