I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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