the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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