i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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