Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
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Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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