It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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