I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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