i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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