Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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