First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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