Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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