Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We are all done wearing pants today
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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